the nothingness within...

There is a lot i want to say...
a lot i want to spill...
a lot i want to confront...
a lot i want to confess...
a lot i want to share...
there are times when i feel like a valcano...
ready to erupt...
sometimes i feel like a fruit...ripe...ready to fall...
sometimes i feel like a bird...ready to fly...
sometimes i feel like a flower...dainty and raped...
there is so much to confront...so much to take in...so much happenin...
i feel that you shouldnt ever pose...
why wait and think?
Why not live the moment...in a princely manner...
why not write and spill what really matters...
why didnt i ever learn to say no?
why didnt i?
Why do i want to?
ever felt like a whir...
ever felt yourself in a vacuum...
ever noticed the little intricasies that make life a little more beautiful...
today...
Zooming in...
there was once a very bad bad boy who was called...Hasssssss...he never called to tell his parents that he would come late...his ego always got the better of him and he couldnt bother asking his friends...he was stubborn and callous...
he felt he knew it all or so they said...
sometimes he was harrassed by life...
other times by death...
and when he lay there...
his emotions would mock him...
there he was...
A man...and yet not quite there...
he tried too hard...
he wanted to be there for others...
and in a way he couldnt open up to others...
he shared their griefs...
he amassed pain...
and gave out love...renewed hope...or so he thought...
he was profusely thankful to the people who added flavor and life...
and yet amidst so many acquaintances...
he had lost himself...somewhere down there...
in the hush hush and pandemonium...
he didnt quite know when or where...
life never cared to notice...

today i woke up...
like all of them...
early in the morning...
mom and dad never cared to notice...
i walked out...
they ought to have thanked their stars...
cant blame them either...
im a pain...
went to my university...my new alma mater...
tried to study...
for a change i entered the LUMS holy site...
L I B R A R Y...
spirits mocked me...
walls poked...
jibed about me...
i walked in...
and i walk out....
in lurch of a new day...
new hopes...
new aspirations...
i pull on my mask back on...
HAPPY...so i am...