rendezvous of the soul...

the smiles...
the teary departures...
the reincarnations...
warm summers...
sultry...
seductive...
suggestive...
the rendezvous...
happiness...
smiles...
tearful...
innocent...
naive...
unconditional love...
meandering stream of thoughts...
coherent...
cohesive...
unadulterated...
here i am...
microcosm in a brobdingnagian universe...
endless...
the phenomenon of life...
of breaths...
of memories...
distant and yet so near...
the delineating boundaries...
simultaneous...
sometimes even i don't quite follow my drift and yet it is beautiful...
awe aspiring...
pulchritudinous...
there i stand...
learning...
smirking...
knowing...
that someday...
there will be...
me...
and till then...
let the music flow...
let the words randomly form a symmetry of their own...
at peace with eachother...
somethings we can't do...
and yet it is all around us...
the perfection...
the depth...
the innateness...
this is to friendships...
old and new...
raw and proven...
beyond any constraints...
loyalties...
promises...
laugh...
before it's too late...
hug before it's too late...
love if you can...
for love heals...
and i will too...
today and forever...
this is to you...

the search...

those breaths...
the whispers...
the lullabies...
the usherings...
the coaxing...
the meandering facets...
moments...
or eternity...
pristine...
divine...
heavenly...
caresses...
gentle...
soulful...
fulfilling...
seductive...
sinful...
there you are...
with me...
far...
distant...
looming...
suggestive...
and yet...
i look...
somewhere around...
in the air...
amidst the raindrops...
as they gently torment my skin...
i feel your presence...
looming...
somewhere amidst the shadows...
smiling...
lingering moments...
teasing...
somewhere down the road i lost my sanity...
discovered sanity...
lost it again...
and now i am a sane lunatic...
innocent convict...
the fulfillment is no more...
and yet...
there is a glimmer...
beckoning...
i walk a lonely road...
tormenting the soul...
and yet i keep moving...
for there will be a dawn...
for there will be hope...
for someday...
you will decide to drop by...
conventional and yet challenging...
cacooning me...
sheltering...
protecting...
arching over...
and till then...
the search will continue...

MINE

phenomenon of a revolution...
revolution of a process...
cognition of a unit...
meshing in of a system...
silence...
dearth...
murky pasts...
hazy subliminal future...
present concerns...
alacrity of beings...
various stakeholders...
the vicious circle...
the guillotinal pendulum...
this is it...
or is it?
while there is passion there is strength...
for where there is love there is hatred...
where there is racism there is multiculturalism...
where there is pain there is happiness...
where there is ecstasy there is bliss...
where there are back stabbers there are parents...
where there is no one there ALWAYS is a someone...
somewhere...
looking out...
noticing...
your subtleties...
thinking...
brandishing...
ceremoniously harbinging...
resonance of a life within a life...
sometimes giving up is not it...
sometimes it pays to be tough...
to believe in thyself...
for where there will be darkness there will be light...
for where there is a dark abyss there is a miracle...
a miracle of creation...
of life...
of conformity...
of norms...
of sweet havens...
of you and me...
of lovers...
there we are...
there i am...
we are all out there...
and sometimes...
it doesn't take much to reach out...
to share...
to broach...
to allay and quell...
for somewhere...
the wheel churns...
what goes around will come around...
and thus...
i smile knowingly...
for i have known smile...
as a tool...
to shade myself...
now i shall sleep...
peace prevails...
noise prevails...
the birds signal...
the clouds mingle...
and right there...
a new life begins...
a new beginning...
second chances...
a couple holds hands...
i walk by smiling...
KNOWING!
for tomorrow...
it shall be me...
for tomorrow...
will be mine!

The moments...

submission...
the art...
the soul...
the physical indulgence...
the act...
be it prayer...
be it music...
be it science...
be it art...
defining the essence of life...
it's like a flash...
and then...
NOTHING!
all gone in a blink...
life...
the phenomenon...
the beauty from up there...
amidst the skies...
flanked by angels...
surrounded by horizons...
there it is...
whiz...
and it's over...
is it a blessing...
a curse...
remnants of a shoddy existence...
or the path to tranquility...
from now...
to now...
life prances...
warming the congealed blood...
functioning...
fueling us...
reinvigorating us to follow...
the quest...
for?
is it?
am i?
will we?
do i?
how?
where though?
within?
outside?
and at the end...
if you can smile...
if life taught you to...
your a winner...
in that defining moment...
when a mother gives birth...
when a bee returns home for honey...
when a salmon gives birth and dies for it...
life is there to be witnessed...
in all it's grandeur and beauty...
and tomorrow...
would be a new horizon to witness...
a new goal...
this is to those who live...!!!

the wait...

there are still moments...
when you breathe down on me...
when i can feel your presence...
lingering down...
sweeping me in you...
there you are...
never too close...
and yet so near...
remember those times...
when i'd sweep you...
play with your tussled hair...
and feel like i owned the world...
now...
there is sadness...
there is darkness...
the niche ain't lighting up my world...
the microcosm ceases to be...
there are times when i cease to exist...
perhaps merely a spectator of my own destiny...
shadowing my very moves and yet the essence...
lost...
somewhere...
faraway...
now...
i walk...
atleast i am learning to...
to standup...
i wonder...
the worth of every life...
the value placed on the souls...
the plight of the young ones...
the wail of the widows...
pain and plight...
of the poor...
ALWAYS...
here i am...
yielding...
to a world i know not...
to principles i perceive not...
to a culture i believe not...
identity...
was it always a farce?
am i the possessed or the possessor?
am i the persecuted or the persecutor?
the tormented or the tormentor?
sometimes...
i know not...
and this is why the journey goes on...
but something deep down trembles...
for all is not lost...
where there is night...
there will be a new dawn...
and thus i wait...

Life

compartmentalisation...
sometimes i feel that one has to step outside the box...
give Monsieur Logic and Frau Common Sense a break...
it is sad when people forget to breathe...
the art of living...
of being happy and forwarding it to those who need it the most in the happiness chain
the little boy in Africa...
the little orphan in Afghanistan...
the elongated and devastated mother in Iraq...
rationale...!
it exist?
where? who decides that?
imagine if there is no light at the break of dawn...
imagine that the taps of the world run dry...
scarcity of the basic ameneties we have always taken for granted...
there is draught...
mother earth is sad and violated...
she sounds her trumpets and it thunders...
she can't cry and the rivers dry up...
paralysed and thus no crops...
there we are...
the being who thinks its always about them...
tonight there is no night...
there is no tomorrow...
there never was a yesterday and there will be no today..
farce...
dicey...
and yet something feels right...
deep down in the bosom there is still warmth...
there are stirrings...
impatient and yet passionate...
the yearning and the drive...
the vigor and the mercurial vapors to succeed...
something keeps propelling the belief systems...
to believe in the light...
to rise up and dream...
it all sinks in...
coincidences i'd think not...
touche or dejavu...
left or right...
east or west...
i seek...
and yet someone somewhere far away makes me alter my beliefs...
someday i'd tell her...
till then...
i will express...
of the woebegone times...
of the old and the foolish...
of youth and volatility...
somewhere by a street light...
i'd be standing...
waiting to make dreams with you...
tonight i escape...
to the dazed passages of slumber...
the conquest begins...
and while someone somewhere will lose a life...
many more will be borne...
fortunes will be made...
fortunes would be plundered...
the wheel of life would continue...
there will be rainbows...
there will be storms...
tsunamis and hurricanes...
monsoons and snowfalls...
and life would go on...
so will we...
this is to life...
and to someone who makes it more holistic...
to life...

a lingering presence...

the atrociousness...
the cruelty...
the sarcasm...
the contradictions...
the fumes...
the fear...
or the alacrity of it...
there i am...
standing...
silently watching...
the pattering continues...
demi gods smile down...
still standing...
miracle...
like a conception...
pure and pristine...
there she is...
the air seems to be wary...
gently stroking her hair all the time...
i stand and watch...
a lifetime of memories seem to bog me...
solitude or engagements...
peace or discord...
bravery or cowardice...
nothing matters...
nothing makes sense...
it does in a nonsensical way...
but which way is that way...
boggled i stand...
should i?
would i?
will i?
a lingering smile preps up...
the beauty of the moment is captured by eternity and packaged by vacuum...
it feels like it...
the real deal...
tis been so long since i last checked...
tonight this angel will lighten up my discords...
tonight is the night...
the galore...
the gentle shake of the head...
the flippant uppity walk which makes you fall into a trance...
this is to someone special...
who makes me want to...
to...
to be...

THE LAST MAN STANDING...

goodbye my friend...

this is to a soul...
a kindred spirit...
a man...
a good man...
this is to our team coach, Mr Bob Woolmer who passed away yesterday...
he has left a nation tormented and grappling for targets to point fingers at...
and in a way this is our darkest moment indeed...
this is God making us search from within...
where we have gone wrong...
where meritocracy lies dead...
where there is no accountability...
no dignity...
no realm...
no one at the helm ANSWERABLE...
a mockery of the system indeed...
but then since when have institutions counted for anything...
it's the people which etch an institution and the vice versa does not hold...
this is to tough times...
sometimes you have to put your head down and humbly admit...
to all the wrong doings...
what you could have done differently...
and as a nation all we expect...
is a decent show...
and like last time...
this time implies forgiveness...
there will be tomorrow...
new heroes...
new figure heads...
a different scenario...
a different ball game...
life goes on...
and sometimes just when we imagine that this is the end of the world...
something so truly beautiful and aspiring occurs...
that we are forced to smile...
a passionate smile...
lurking at the nook of our lips...
outlining our innocence...
and so...
today is the beginning of a new dawn...
so let's live and let live...
i move...
to greener pastures...

Smile...

and so the going went...
'when the going gets tough...the tough get going...'
all those years...
i kept wondering when it would be my turn...
my turn to take on the world...
to challenge their outlandish outlooks...
to address the ongoing skirmishes...
when it would be my time...
the winters bristled...
the leaves demonic...
the eerie silence...
the moaning winds...
there i stood...
somewhere away from the warmth of the fireplace...
looking...
with renewed hope and vigor...
with all the pain taking its toll...
i stood...
unfettered...
like a pillar...
and then...
time weaved its seductive web...
of continuity and stealthy...
slowly and yet surely...
there i stood...
looking at a world which i knew not...
taking in the emotions...
or their remnants...
glancing at a mankind...
with no soul...
with utter disregard for love...
where universal doctrines were somewhat monetary...
where every transaction was a move in the stock markets...
where life itself was webbed and mechanized...
where there were robots in the shape of humans...
lifesize and THERE...
i stood...
and then...
all the disappointments...
all the missed opportunities...
all those times which felt like the end...
it happened...
and in a short space a lot of it too...
while we are mere occupants on a chessboard and every move that we make has recurring consequences...
to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction...
the only newton's law that ever made sense...
and there it was...
the time when your trial was over...
no more mettle testing...
no more insinuations...
no more dull drudgery...
there was life...
undulating...
but in a way that seemed possessed...
a way which enticed you to give it a shot...
to let go of the grudges...
to start afresh...
like a new dawn...
a reinvigorating spring...
like a bud about to blossom...
there it was...
all the dreams...
carved...
chiselled...
and there to be trampled upon...
by the reality...
the way we foresaw...
standing...
embracing...
yet again...
and in that instance...
God smiled...
upon his creation...
enabling him to know BRUTE FORCE...
pleasure in pain...
and now the pain in pleasure...
both sides...
it was time to walk the final walk...
the walk to the gallows...
where the final decision loomed...
how long before we sucuumb...
before we take the bait...
i grimaced...
knowing...
there will never be a second time...
there will be no looking back...
there will be no hiccups...
transition complete...
LIFE RESTORED...
and i wake up...
to the sound of jaybirds...
of a new dawn...
of untold opportunities...
of life...
i walk away...SMILING

lost in the moment...

they said it...
they portrayed it...
the winds whispered...
the peripheries carried it...
the mountains knoweth...
the dewdrops sinned...
never knowing...
the mystery...
there it was...
without a constraint...
without any barriers...
painstakingly prepped up...
for the forces...
that he knew not...
there he stood...
worshipping...
the only way he knew...
knowing...
that life would never be the same...
a point of no return...
the island of trinity...
of saintly paradigms...
there he stood and pondered...
the threshold struck...
with all its hefty torque...
torpedoing his thoughts...
allaying his greatest fears...
in that moment...
the flashbang...
the blackholes...
the serenity...
the sinisterhood...
everything made sense...
there it was...
revealed onto him...
for once and forever...
this is to someone really special...
my other half...
my better half...
my soul...
my existence...
this is to you Madiha...
for i have known love...
and i have conquered it...
to you...
i live...
with a mission...
a reason...
peace hath prevailed...

nature or us....

and the war is over now...
or so they proclaim...
suddenly humans dont appear humane...
their skulls ought to be harnessed...
then what is a revolution...
what about the french and the industrial revolution???...
was there ever a revolution?
ever justice?
ever humanity?
religious days aren't sanctimonious but are rather opportunities to terrorise...
why the militia?
why the tyranny?
why the stand-offs?
why the genocides?
ever wondered what suffocation feels like?
hold you breath...
you would know what it belies...
where are the choices?
where are the finer facets?
war games...
war music...
war war war...
when will we be civil?
will we be civil?
there is mayhem...
uproar...
chaos...
why do i write?
am i escaping from myself?
am i justifying my actions?
am i relaying the message that somewhere down the lane i cared?
i cared?
i was so busy growing up...
i never knew i did...
but i do?
where are the sweet folk lores?
why did our grannies lie to us?
why were they detracting us from the injustices and the gory reality?
everyone around me seems to be detonating...
some for moralistic reasons...
some for holistic causes...
some for the mayhem...
some roadies who want it out?
some bourgeois....
some femme fatale...
the moral of the story is...
there is no moral...
our love is polluted...
and so are our riverines...
and the sea bed...
the grotesque churning of life is relaying destruction...
to all quarters...
be it the Arctic glaciers...
or the Amazon jungle...
The river Nile...
or the Sahara...
who are the enemies?
nature or us?
i don't smell...
i don't hear...
i don't see...
i don't feel...
then what are we doing?
what are the politicians lobbying...
or are we too busy to notice?
personal vandettas...
personal glory...
agendas which reek of power...
is sports the answer for injustices...
Ahhh well sir...
while we kill...
while we loot...
while we plunder...
why we create mayhem...
you, stupid as you are...
you chose us...
smirks...
you watch...
be it football...
be it cricket...
be it wrestling...
gosh how we love it...
secretly...
somewhere within...
the animal smiles...
pregnant pause...
and back...
humanity restored...
look around...
wonder why...
we can live a life that's just about never satisfied...
who's side are you on...
ohh i forgot...
you aren't important enough...
even the water boy vacancy is taken by some opportunist...
so...
in essence...
you lose some...
you win some...
then why are the losers us?
global warming makes me laugh...
when we have destroyed and plundered mother earth...
we want to restore her sanctity...
are you for real?
HUH!!!
now you remember...
now that your political power is all but extinct...
suddently the green house gases gain a new perspective...
or were you too lazy to notice...
we are criminals...
inside out...
but there are some...
who still make those dreams happen...
like our parents...
their roles alter...
but they continue to provide...
continue to support...
and yet...
sometimes our own immortals...
our heroes...
committ to acts...
which we don't expect...
so where does it begin...?
in our own backyards...
horrifying...
yet true...
the change...
the transition...
the institution...
they are figments of our imagination...
our fantasies...
but...
someone somewhere and sometime real soon...
has to rise...
and will...
from within us...
to allay and assuage our fears...
time to step it up...
time to let go of the tranquilizers...
and find peace from within...
sacrifice...
initiate...
pioneer...
and then...
the cycle will churn...
not depotism...
but rather...
life will churn life...
flowers will blossom...
ice will form...
our souls will return...
someday...
someday indeed...

the unsung ones...

Ever felt like nothing seems to make sense? Everytime you tap on the keyboard and seem to jumble up your ideas and the right words cease to appear on the screen and the incessant blinking of the cursor bugs you. There are times when nothing seems to go right and you absolutely detest anything that moves(and even things which are inanimate).
I feel like such is my case. It has been so ruddy long since i last conversed with myself. Trust me i am not presenting any excuses but genuinely feel that it is injustice to suppress your soul and your emotions. We all have our ways of expressing our emotions and my niche is probably writing my heart out. And in a weird way it's not the same writing to yourself in Microsoft Word.
Life has never been this interesting and this exciting in a long time. It's like the ushering in of a new era. A new beginning. Rekindled soul. It's like a pilgrimage. A Journey which we undertake for holistic causes. And yet even when everything seems to go right...when you imagine that nothing could probably go wrong...
you still end up feeling incomplete for no obvious reason...
when you desire something more than the obvious...
i feel that we need to voice our opinions...
be it our political views, religious observations, academic experiences, or just our own intellect, we, human beings, being social need to vent out our energy, otherwise our karma frustrates us.
i don't really know how much sense i make...
Ever known what it feels like to wait...
and wait...
and wait...
STILL WAITING...!!!
transition can sometimes be like that...
times when it leads you on...
it's like switching on and off...
on and off...
on and off...
ahhhhhh the monotony...
it's like being taken advantage of... :) i mean it...
ironic as it may sound, i can be so funny in real life, laugh, pull up my socks and a straight face...
never letting my defences drop...
and yet...
here...
i can't seem to act...
so much has been going on...
where do i begin?
what do i say?
do i talk about the poverty around me?
the inequality?
the brawls?
how many people lose their lives everyday in the just name of 'terrorism'?
Or do i write about the political debacles and the unbecoming politicians who are everything BUT the representatives of the common man...are they really our figure heads who ought to be plastered as figurines in our households???
Or are we squandered of our rights everyday?
Do i write about religious extremism?
The uncouth incidents occuring in the sanctimonious month of muharram...
Do i quote the democrats and their chichi ways...or their hypocrisy?
Is Iran that bad?
How important is 'Big Brother' for all of us?
Since when has Shilpa Shetty been the representative of the Indian people the world over?
Who's worse?
Saddam or Bush?
Is bad someone who is weak enough to cede in?
Or is he someone who was too stupid for their own good?
Or are they people who are dumb enough to get caught? Or even piss their seniors...
Where is humanity?
When i look around...
everything...
every banner...
every facet of life reeks of materialism...
the billboards proclaim it...
and so does the rest of the media...
who are the moguls???
Not the aristocrats...
when was the last time you heard of Plato or Aristotle...
ahhhh well Donald Trump is quite a household name though...
how moralistic are these people...
and then there is war...
all around us...
everyday of our lives...
a constant strife...
the streets are not safe...
little children do not know outdoors anymore...
there are villains who are deadlier than any vampire could ever be...
where did all those heroes go?
Diana died...
So did Mother Teresa...
who do we eulogize about?
and yet inroads have been achieved...
A female president for USA?
Equality for women?
Equal participation?
Economic sanctity?
and then i smile...
more blasts...
sometimes in the neighbourhood...
Sometimes in Baghdad...
Sometimes in Damascus...
Sometimes in Beirut...
muslims annihilated...
and you sit...
and you sit...
and you sit...
innocense lost...
i'm pulverized...
how long do i wait?
was life really about personal endeavours?
then what about rising to the occassion and standing up for what you believed in?
where did all the souls run off to?
Since when was money the official representative of our societies?
and yet there aree people...
who lay their lives for others...
people who cross borders...
war correspondents...
UN workers...
humanitarian workers...
Red Cross...
NGO's fulfilling the needs of aids victims...
acid burn victims...
people who create trusts and grants for such beings...
aren't those the heroes of today...
the unsung heroes...
they need not stand in the line of fire...
and yet they do...
they are greater than all of us...
bigger than thou...
and i keep smiling...
for i know...
that tomorrow...
when i wake up...
and if i am lucky...
i might meet someone...
whom i'd cherish forever...
and i go on...
smiling all the way...
innocense restored...

to light...

this goes out to lost creativity...
lost in translation...
there were days...
when i felt lost...
when i felt plundered and looted...
when nothing seemed to go right...
there was darkness...
there was misery...
devil befriended me...
there was no right or wrong...
there was pain...
there was suffering...
transfixed faces...
laden with antagonism...
deathly eyes...
failed dreams...
quite an addition to the failed states...
which massacred humanity...
instead of the vigilante...
they were the murderers...
the villains...
but then...
all is not lost...
where there was Bush...
there was Clinton...
where there was Hitler...
there was Gandhi...
and yet what goes around, comes around...
this is the story of the children of the world...
this is a story of the humanity yet to come...
this is for their struggle...
this is to all the women around the world...
persecuted and raped...
this is to mothers, quite used to witnessing the bloodshed of their sons...
this is to daughters, who knew not who a father figure really was...
this is to all those orphans, all those beleagured beings...
this is to humanity...
to man...
to rise...
to procrastinate...
to bow...
to pray...

i am back...
to voice...
to air...
to investigate...
and to address...
not those around me...
but my own intellect and faculties which beckon me...
thus where there is darkness there WILL be light...