the truth...

this time it's special...
this time it's real...
this time it all adds up...
it makes sense...
it's in the air...
the flowers seem to contain it...
the grass hums its own tune...
the birds have never been more melodic...
the trees never greener...
i hear it all around me...
the air whispers it in my ears...
the smile of a stranger suddenly makes sense too...
uncanny really how everything is in complete harmony...
the sky couldn't be bluer either...
and here i am...
in the midst...
at the epicenter...
with a certain someone...
who makes me want to conquer the world...
who makes me want to believe...
who makes me love...
makes me want to be a better person...
be the man i should be...
there are times when i can't seem to tell you...
all these things...
times when i don't quite comprehend the magnitude of what we have...
the scope of our involvement...
the depth of our love...
but i have never felt more secure...
never really wanted to step it up...
to take control...
to tackle and move on...
to stand up...
embrace...
and just be...
for now i can...
because the sun shines with all its glory...
the moon reminds me of you...
this is to a certain someone...
who has made me forget...
everything...
who has healed...
who has reminded me...
the essence of life...
of what it entails...
and i don't ever want to live in a parallel paradigm...
for this is where i belong...
for this is who i am...
for this is where i want to be...
for this is me...
and while all this happens...
all i can say is...
I love you Sana...
i do...i do...i do...
for what we have is true...
nothing more...nothing less...
Thank you for everything babes!

forever mine!

just sometimes...
you are at a loss...
a loss of words...
a loss of sentiments...
a loss of compassion...
a loss of love...
and yet there you are...
beats me where you came from...
how you dug me out...
how you decided to extend your hand...
and yet...
there is something so amazing about you...
the way you are...
the way you make me feel...
the way it feels so complete...
the way i feel so secure...
it's amazing knowing that you aren't vulnerable...
that there is someone out there...
who's heart skips a beat...
who's heartbeat is linked to yours...
who can make you smile by just being there...
where every little sentiment is glorified manifold...
you are my miracle...
the wait is over...
and here you are...
and i ain't going to let go...
not now...
not ever...
this is to a 'forever'
forever and ever...
and while there is no sunshine...there is you...
while there is no hope... there is you...
while there is no happiness... you create some...
where there is no light... your my tunnel of hope...
this is to the most beautiful soul i have ever known...
for you i trust in...
for you are you...
my princess...
forever!

Lost

sometimes...
just sometimes...
i wonder...
about the outcome of it all...
who are we?
who are you?
what is our identity?
what is yours?
are you culture specific only...
do you like interaction...
why so socially alienated...
stagnated...
today i sit here...
a grown man...
made to realize that it wasn't rosy after all...
that those streets aren't safe anymore...
that i really don't know my own neighborhood anymore...
that there are those amongst us...
who would kill...
absolutely anyone...
regardless...
what drives them?
what controls them?
what are their aspirations?
what do they strive for?
how did they end up doing this?
taking away innocent lives...
targeting foreigners...
basic criteria being your nationality and your identity being your passport...
so now we are what our documents state we are from...
ruddy brilliant...
sarcasm has always been my forte but i am a little lost for words here...
there is no essay...
no emotion...
no expression...
that can ever justify terrorism...
that can ever justify taking away lives...
of someone's mother...
someone's son...
someone's wife...
the list goes on...
the world today functions like a chess board...
and the pendulum swings spontaneously...
why is this such a tit for tat fight?
why don't we ever learn from our primal past?
just when you thought you were advancing rapidly into the new technological paradigm...
you realize that you have never been so backward...
tonight i will be up... wondering...
about what human beings are capable of...
and how they channel their capabilities...
and how horrendous humans are truly capable of being...
this is to the sweet souls out there...
you need to voice your opinions and ensure that you overwhelm the evil around you...
for this world needs people who can unite us...
for we are lost...
very very...
LOST!

MINE!

it's been a long time since i last connected with myself...
a long time since i vented out...
shared a moment...
held a hand...
looked in the eyes...
nurtured her soul...
pestered her...
endlessly...
chatted her up...
and spend the better half of the night wondering...
how i ever got so lucky...
it's amazing how she can still make me smile...
she's nameless...
i barely know her...
but she resides...
deep down...
threatening...
that someday she will be back...
FOR GOOD!
we have our little escapades...
where i am tormented by my own existence...
but then you learn...
to assuage your fears...
and grapple with who you are...
she makes you a better person...
completes you...
and yet what if you were too scared to go on...
and you let go...
this is to moments...
those moments...
when you look back and wish...
just WISH...
and wonder...
what could have been...
sometimes we can all be lonely...
we can be prone...
scared...
that no one really listens...
that no one really cares...
and just then...
she makes up for everything...
justifies every tormented moment you spent chatting up your soul...
this is to you...
for i know...
deep deep down...
that you will be...
MINE...

the dilemmas...

of broken dreams...
of broken hearts...
of moments gone by...
of moments that never really were...
this is to those unspoken souls...
who toil aimlessly...
feeding on their misery...
wasting away...
who have limited access to life...
who serve...
who are harrassed and bullied...
made to forget that they too belong to our race...
those are our unspoken heroes...
who honestly make the world go round...
who pamper you...
who are on the receiving end of the brunt...
always smiling...
never daring to wish...
thankful...
who know not what lodging a complaint is...
who dare not stand out...
or be different God forbid...
for whom, three meals are a luxury they cannot comprehend...
we live amongst them...
but are we blind?
have we lost our souls?
are they the ones really suffering?
is money the only objective left?
we turn to the higher echelon when we are troubled...
but only then...
so who are we?
did we lose our perspective...
where there is no honor amongst thieves...
where the biggest bullies are indeed the most revered if not respected...
is this who we are?
why?
i am ashamed...
of who i am...
of what i stand up for...
of what i SHOULD stand up for...
someday...
i will stand up...
this is to courage...
to pioneers who dared to be different...
who never overlooked their principles...
sometimes taking the easy way out is a gross mistake...
this is to peace...
i do not want more wars...
we are ravaged enough as it is...
our soul is all but lost...
let's make a difference...
so stand up...
because that is the only way to live...
this is to my dilemma...

maybe i am a mummy daddy ;)

it has been so long since i actually wrote something meaningful...
i've gotten so used to the flurry of activity inside...
how it is so hard to grapple and address yourself...
those overflowing thoughts...
sometimes it can be such a challenge penning down each and everyone of them...
and what about those countless thoughts that were victims of being lost in translation?
there is this overwhelming sense of urgency...
it's always the same old routine...
the innate fascination with nature...
of nocturnal preferences...
always asking... questioning why!
it is easy to smile... never thought i'd say it... but it can be so much harder grappling with the plain truth...
there it is...
like it but can't seem to leave it because it will always hound you...
the way to tranquility has to be via truth...
is that the only path though?
restlessness has taken over me...
the vibrancy...
those inherent dreams...
the motivation to be...
to stand up...
deliver too if i can...
to a professional world...
where there are no slips...
where there are no explanations or prior warnings...
no parents to govern you...
i always wanted it like this... but do i?
i miss being accountable to my parents...
miss those rants and sessions with dad...
miss being treated like a stupid kiddo...
it's hard embracing all those changes...
a part of me still clings to the belief that one day my mom will pack my lunch and drop me off to school...
did it have to pass me by so quickly...
this is to my parents...
for always believing in me...
and equipping me with the necessary tools to survive the carnage out there...
i love you mom, dad!!!

to the eyes...

there are...
always were...
deeply embedded...
yet always there...
brimming...
bustling...
ferociously kicking...
assuaging my deepest fears...
sheltering me...
cascading...
my dreams...
inhibitions...
the bestest of friends...
for reminding me...
that there always will be...
a tomorrow...
a beautiful dawn...
light...
and here i am...
standing at that juncture...
called life...
its bustling...
robust...
all around me...
enveloping me...
for all those days that seemed like they would never end...
for all the moments that you thought would always hound you...
for where there is heat there is cold...
for where there is hopelessness there are dreams...
for where there is death there is birth...
for where there is stench there is a scent...
reeling...
the scene of life...
the perfume of hope...
for amongst the buildings...
the grandeur...
the landscape...
the meandering river...
the heroin peddlers...
the gory reminders...
the reminiscent red light...
there is a glimmer...
of hope...
of dreams..
of aspirations...
of the soul...
of the magnificemt...
of just what we can do...
of what the human mind is capable of...
of what we have achieved and will...
this is to pretty eyes...
which never belie...
always reflecting the truth...
regardless of how corrupt we may be...
the purity in them stays...
while they perform and communicate the most visual images...
playing tricks at times...
making the truth appear jumbled and pronouncing the lies and yet...
there they are...
never ceases to amaze me...
just how integral they are...
and how disconnected i would feel...
if there was a vacuum...
just darkness...
would i ever experience the thoughts that i do now...
and as i gaze down...
watching...
i know...
that there are greater things coming...
this is to those who believe...
in themselves...
in their friends...
in those cherished moments...
knowing that one day...
they will be back...
this is to individuals who persevered...
for they are the real winners...
and i gaze at the rain...
my eyes glimpsing...
for somewhere deep down...
i want to do the rain dance...
freeing myself...
this is to dances...
in the rain...
and there is that trademark smile...
thank you for always managing to smile...
back to work...