to the rainy nights and the starry skies...

sometimes we can conveniently walk by...
we choose to ignore...
we etch our own fates and blame it on stars...
we sin and abhorr our horoscopes...
we kill and credit the excruciating circumstances...
we plunder, we loot, we prey...
no one is safe...
not our sisters, nor our mothers, nor our daughters, nor our soul mates...
we learnt to disrespect a long time back...
once in a while it doesnt harm to close your lights...
it doesnt hurt to prowl...
to draw the real lines...
lie down in your bed...
ever felt there was a niche within when there was absolutely no electricity...
ever felt you were on top of the world and yet there was something missing...
ever yearned for it but never gotten it...
were you standing there amidst the snow and you were left standing...
ever been deserted in a desert...ironic...
ever been moored on a virgin island...
ever known pain and anguish...
ever lost a beloved one...
ever known fear...
ever tasted death...
ever wandered around amidst the faeces which corrupt you...
ever visited the murkier passages...
ever wanted to but couldnt...
if you haven't...
then you wouldn't know...
then you wouldn't feel...
then you wouldn't cry...

i sit here.
here.
why here.
i brood.
Time haunts me.
It fiddles with me.
i am painfully aware of my mortal existence.
it doesnt scare me anymore.
i sometimes look around and the familiar faces i see aren't visible.
The spectrum that i am inhibed by...isn't truly there...
what i see is not true...
what i feel isn't either...
i profess to believe...
but i act like i dont...
i feel as if i was possessed...
but i am not...
why this vivacious circle...
the circle which corrupts...
which sins...
the rain...
steadily continues...
purifies...condescends a feeling of chastity...
i want to runaway...
i want to be there...
in a land where there are no manifestos...
where there are no killings...
where there are no politics...
where there are no players...
where i can be...
close to U...
and thank You...
tonight i will go...
somewhere far...
so that i can appreciate...
and talk to You...
You dont meet me in these cities...
amidst these buildings...
amidst the chaos and pandemonium...
You have deserted me...
but i shall believe in ' Perseverance commands success'...
Someday you would know too...