sweet voices...

where have you been all this time???
will you be there?
will i get a chance to lay my eyes on you?
a chance to say hello...?
will i get a chance to hold your hands?
a chance to look in those emerald eyes...?
will i get a chance to search your soul?
a chance to devour your breath...?
will i ever fall in love?
and will u be the one for me..?
will i ever really belong?
when you belong somewhere else?
will our worlds intersect?
when we aren't in the same galaxies?
will i ever smell?
will i ever know?


*voices in the head*

the raindrops...

a bloom...
the fertility boom...
the thundering rains...
the jittery children...
mindboggling weather changes...
and yet the cycle continues...
the wheel hath been carved to revolve...
the currents are never stemmed...
the magic weaver continues to weave...
the dream maker casts the dreams...
there are hopes...
there are aspirations...
there is trust...
there is faith...
somewhere amidst the dark...
dawn threatens to break through the night...
stars seem to smile...
their souls sing...
sing to the mothernature...
sing to life...
sing to existence...
sing to peace...
the pattering continues...
the raindrops continue to cleanse...
what our churches, synanogues, mosques, temples couldn't do...
this rain does...
there is harmony...
mankind stands united...
souls entwine...
new bonds are made...
old ones called upon...
the rain continues to pour...
mother earth continues to blossom...
and tomorrow...
there will be...
new quests...
new aspirations...
new hopes...
the workshops will resume work...
for tomorrow...
there will be chaos...
there will be war...
there will be mayhem...
but deep down inside...
there will be bonds...
there will be trust...
for life is beautiful...
every word that has been uttered is valuable...
our existence is meaningful...
live...
LIVE!!!...
live?...
LIVEEEEEEEEEE...
for tomorrow will bring new meanings...
newer goals...
so live it while it lasts...

basically...

it is ironic and yet truly sad when you can feel the plight and pain of the losing side...the pain is eccentuated when your own friends fail to realise that you are and have always been a BARCA MAN...
more on that tonight...

life as we know it...

the pained expressions...
eyes belying the arrogance...
defeated gaits...
swollen eyes...
ruffled hair...
sometimes even "gods" can take a fall...
our idols can look lacklustre at best...
there are times when you can pity your sagging enemy...
when you can feel the torment...
the disgust...
the loss of pride and respect...
when the act of surrender and submission is made to look sinful...
when your soul hath been scorned upon and scorched...
who are the heroes?
who are the greats?
who will guide us...
who will motivate us...
we all need icons...
symbolic as they may be...
but we do nonetheless...
just like we need stickers on our cars...
to make a statement...
to show our allegiences...
but why?
are we really all that?
just that...?
that...?
THAT!!!...
is that all we will ever be...
i feel that life aint about winning or losing...
that glory aint the trophy...
glory is the experience...
glory is being THERE...
glory is loving what you do...
glory is LIFE...
with all its intricasies and pain...
glory is when a special kid is raised up as normal...
glory is when a heart donor gives life to you at his cost...
glory is making a difference...
no brawny trophies could ever be all that...
i know...
i really do...
i feel i do...
i thought i did...
life is truly beautiful...
life is about finding your own meanings...
interpreting your own incidents...
striving for meanings...
deciphering the cryptic codes...
inferring from them and never letting go..
to never say die...
to believe in yourself...
life...
will then turn to you...
and give you beyond your wildest expectations...
learn to believe in it...
co peacefully coexist...
and one day you too will have your hands full...
till that day...
LET THE ROLLERCOASTER BEGIN...

P.S im listening to Abba's Winner takes it all...
and i know there arent no losers...
we deem ourselves that...
we show others how weak we are...
we degrade ourselves...
let our alters be strong...
let our principles be irreconciliable...
i dont know if that is a word...
duty calls...
macro two here i cometh...

life will...

trance connects...
the sun shines in all its glory...
the fags are lightened...
the engines are revved...
the taps ooze the liquid of life...
there is mayhem...
there is chaos...
there is pain...
there is glory...
the trains whizz by...
the planes sneak by...
passengers head to their destinations...
there is a vibrancy in the air...
something about the whole scenario...
the world is abuzzz with the news of yet more bombings...
yet more lives lost for unknown causes...
today we are more lost than we have ever been...
lost in our thoughts...
lost in our minds...
the mercurial passages hath been blocked...
today we seek meanings...
but all we do is cover ourselves in yet more complex layers of our existence...
we seek power...
we pursue gains...
any will do...
there are newborns...
some distance away...
there are morgues...
there is hue and cry of joy...
and there are cries of the orphaned and the widowed...
this to me is life...
its shining so bright...
and yet deep deep down...
its crying its heart out...
but we hath buried ourselves in our own glory...
we DA MAN...
the invincibles...
we shall trod...
we shall be...
but who are we...
we shall never know...

sometimes...
just hold a hand...
just touch a life...
just glimpse with love...
just reach out...
appreciate...
love...
one life...
dont just live it...
be the life...
give life...
cherish life...
and somewhere down the lane...
LIFE will find you...

...to...

and so the saga raged on...
the bloodbaths...
the stench of death...
the cry of an orphan...
the pleads of young widows...
fell on deaf years...
there were no longer heroes to look upto...
the big bad wolves were no more...
man had assumed that role...
the little red riding hoods of the world were insecure as never before...
freedom did not come at a price...
it failed to turn up...
there was pain and anguish...
there were hungry malnourished mouths...
there was chaos...
and yet...
somewhere...
deep deep down...
there was a lingering hope...
a niche...
sensitive and pure...
a faint shimmer...
the outlines of a faint glow...
the beginning of a new era...
the ushering of the new age...
of vibrancy and stoicism...

there are times in our lives when the little occurences find new meanings...
when we start thanking our stars for all the good things that have happened...
and for all those bad things that never happened...
sometimes its good enough to thank...
thank...
your Lord...
your mentor...
your idols...
your peers...
it takes a single thought...
just a thought...
to make this place just a little better...
i feel that it's only when you are put to test that you embrace yourself and make your own existence proud of your mettle that you thought was never there...
this goes out to all those...
who had faith...
who stuck to their beliefs...
and who never faltered...
for PERSEVERANCE COMMANDETH SUCCESS...
sigh...
let the new dawn begin...

...if only they knew...

the ban hath been lifted...
the masses hath triumphed...
the processions marched ahoy...
there were festivities...
there were feasts...
but what there wasnt...
was the gloom...
the realisation of times...
of moments...
of instances...
of an era...
which hath deserted them...
though they were the deserters...
the era had moved on...
the civilization stood there...
basking in glory...
proud and obstinate...
but what no one knew...
was that...
the victors werent the rulers...
and the beggars werent the oppressed...
the tides had turned...
if only they knew...
if only...

...the anthem...

Hasan Suleman Rizwan has duly taken time off from blogspot because my mercurial room temperatures do not allow me to sit and write...the mind refuses to function and when it does the intellect ceases to imagine...thus i will hopefully be back by the weekend...time for the papers...
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
Summersssssssssssssssssss...
HELPPPPPPPPPPPP...

...he lived or did he?...

this goes out to moments...
moments...
MOMENTS!!!
some sad...
some bad...
times which made you cry...
moments shared...
times when you were hugged for no reason...
times when someone you love snuggled close...
times when you walked alone...
times when the rain pattered on your head...
times when your hair was caressed by the wind...
when tiny raindrops whispered in your ears...
times when you journeyed alone...
when the tarmac looked so gloomy...
when a house lay deserted...
when a loved one went away in your arms...forever...
memories can be painful...
memories can be refreshing...
memories can make us nauseous...
but know this...
you lived them...
you were a part of history...
the frame with your photo will be cherished...
will be frowned upon...
will be flaunted...
will be framed...
but...
you lived it...
through a picture...
a frame...
a moment...
a knot...
a nuptial...
a book...
you did...
and if you did...
then you are lucky...
that you had lived...

the nauseating pangs...

sometimes you burnout...
other times you fade way...
sometimes you just move along...
while there are times when you are stuck in the middle of nowhere...
you want to find meanings...
you want to make sense...
you seek to find...
sometimes its hidden in the gospels...
sometimes its hidden in our own lives...
sometimes all we need is to reach out...
how the little things in life can be so complicated...
how achievements can sometimes be undermined...
i feel that we should enjoy every moment...
seal it forever...
by doing something worthwhile...
something...
which arouses our instincts...
our soul...
which instigates us...
which crushes us...
which burns like a wild fire...
sometimes it can be an uncanny inspiration from someone whos always been your foe...
or someone whom u have looked upto and yet they have always let you down...
it can come from someone whom u thought neve knew you...
love can come from the bleakest corners...
and yet it can inspire you...
to change yourself...
to care for yourself...
because...
these waves of change will travel...
and we may end up benefiting a soul...
touching another life...
making a difference...
every emotion counts...
the journey has begun...

guess whos back...

after the dubious prison sentence...
i will continue to blog with renewed vigor...
so beware and watchout...
i have so much to write about...
so much to address...
to ponder and to clasp...
i close my fists...
i lock in an embrace...
for tomorrow i shall write...
the journey shall begin...
the pendulum hath been set in motion...
CHEERS...
to creativity...
to intellectual prowess...

P.S dear readers thankyou for your feedback and support...

an uncouth scenario

as it stands...
the internet hath struck again...
the age of technology has once again let us down...
i am unable to access my own blog...
and i dont know when this era of absolute darkness will ceaseth...
as of now...
i have to contend with 'The page cannot be displayed'
There is so much going on...
so much that i want to etch on paper...
so much that i want to bury amidst the hub hub...
the chaos shall deepen...
the soul will mourn...
till i engrave my thoughts...
in this world...
of internet...
of lurky wires and cables...
deep down in the sea bed...
i shall return...
cos tonight...
is the night...
like no other...
where...
i shall sit...
i shall express...
i shall be...
cos i am...

tribute to Ms Irony...

you know what's ironic...
when you feel like writing prose and you end up writing poetry...
when you can cry for all those times...
for all those souls...
when you want to write and yet you can't...
when you want to express and yet something tells you to hold back...
times when your bursting with anger and have to put up with everything...
times when you can't express...
when you can't hold back and yet the society coerces you to...
when your soul hath been raped...
when your body is stressed beyond repair...
when you tax your spirit...
when you burn the blood...
when you can live in another soul...
when you can desert your body and yet feel alive...
when you can sell off your dignity...
when you can and yet you can't...
when you want to and yet you don't...
when there is so much...
every popping windows tells a story...
every action translates into an endless barrage of new ideas and emotions...
when every occurence has a deeper meaning...
i don't know...
i really don't...
it's amazing when you can connect with another soul...
when you can feel like a stranger amongst friends...
when strangers are family...
when hostels are homes...
when emotions are a mere exaggeration...
ponder...
think...
brood...
someday it will make sense...
someday...
a day...
just a day...
a new day...
but nonetheless...
a day indeed...

the urge to submit...

you know what's scary?...
when you can be shallow and deep at the same time...
when you can be an intellectual fool...
when you can be an angelic devil...
when you can be a satanic angel...
when you can be the bearer and the killer...
when you can be a murderer and a guardian...
who are we deceiving?...

Ladies and Gentlemen...
Welcome to the 21st Century...
Is it news to you that you are too advanced for your own good...?
Ohhhhhhhhhhh here are some facts...
The latest studies show that there is more racism and hatred that ever before...
there is war...there is destruction...there are gruesome deaths of youngmen who ought to be studying in a college.
There is this strange restlessness which has never been witnessed.
There are so many weapons of mass destruction that we don't need natural disasters...we are stupid enough...THANKYOU...
This has been a formidable century...
A century which saw off the bloodiest wars ever...where entire generations were wiped out...
This is a century where humans no longer have time to bond...
there is no more time for love...
there is no prior notions of culture and heritage...
we live in confused times...
our beliefs are no longer applicable...
we are capable of deceiving our ownselves...
we can sell our souls if the price is right...
The poverty levels have reached new highs...
there is a population boom...
the elderly just wouldn't die...
The holocaust which has long been predicted by Malthus and his followers is nearing...
Imagine if you are forced to digest all of this in your economics class...

Nowadays i am trying to be a good muslim. I ain't drawing any conclusions and neither am i suggesting anything...but i am merely pointing out that i am 'T R Y I N G'. For this purpose i take the road less travelled...The road which leads to a mosque, church, temple, synanogue. Be it Krishna or Oaaaaam, God or Allah the concept is the same...our modes of expressions vary just like our characteristics and language but the underlying notion is the same.
I feel that religion has less to do with actions and more to do with the thought that goes into it...i feel that it is not about the physical attributes and actions but rather the act of submission...the willingness to give in to a Higher Existence...you can pray everywhere...
You can pray by the lake...
by the riverside...
by the ocean...
by the ravine...
you can stand and proclaim His existence...
you can holler...
you can run buck naked...
you can be angry at Him...
you can refuse to obey...
you can be mad at Him...
But know this that He loves us...
He has incarnated us in this world...
He hath created our soul...
our manifestation is an expression of his superiority...
of an Existence which is ABSOLUTE...

And thus i am trying to pray...
ironic how we give in to bullies...
how we are in awe of people who are above us in any mode of hierarchy...
why care...
why bother...
all you have to do is put your hands together and pray...
I feel that the need to rise...the need to stand up...the need to love...the need to acclimitize ourselves to the political scenario and the need to stand united is far greater than it has ever been...
There is a saying which states, 'God helps those who help themselves.'

and thus i pray...
atleast i try...

to the higher echelons...

isn't transition beautiful...
i marvel at the human mind...
the grit...
the poise...
the elegance...
the beauty...
the stages of our development...
the intricasies of our intellect...
the dark, murky passages in our minds...
our ability to walk out of tricky situations...
how an equilubrium is maintained...
how the inertia keeps our motion in check...
and when that motion gets out of control...
we hallucinate...
visions bind us...
chaos is prevalent...
suddenly a barrier is removed...
suddenly we are able to see...
that is when the madness creeps in...
when sanity is preyed upon...

there is so much on my mind...
i am thinking about us...
from poetry to prose...
from light to darkness...
from dawn till dusk...
from unflinching love to loathing...
from a caterpillar to a butterfly...
from an infant to a grownup...
from a mortal to immortality...
from the clasps of the devil to righteousness...
from plundering to piety...
from the altars of justice to anarchy...
maybe i fail to make sense...
maybe i fail to connect...
i desperately seek...
in the jungles...
amidst the hubhub...
in meandering valleys...
to the trodden alleys...
amongst the monks and the priests...
to the forbidden land...
it's scary when we lose ourselves...
it's sad when we pursue ulterior motives...
when we are driven by lust and power...
it's sad when fame claims another victim...
sad when money topples yet another soul...
sad when the devil outbids the pious...
i want to break free...
i am in clasps...
i am going...
my organs desert me...
my soul has turned its back...
i try...
desperation sinks in...
i toil...
i shout...
i struggle...
my time is up...
my time is up...
my time is up...
...he lay on his desk...
asleep...
peace hath prevailed...

to that lil child...

the blood hath spilled...
the bodies lay there...
someone's father...
someone's child...
someone's brother...
lay there...
another life had been lost...
another newspaper headline hath been made...
a life wasted...
the gory realities...

Let me tell you about this incident that happened on the fourteenth. We were all at Lums and everyone was receiving phone calls from their frantic parents or siblings asking about their wellbeing, and it dawned on us that there was upheaval and the masses were wreaking havoc amongst their own brothers. One of my friends, who never ceases to grab attentions by his funny comments and the JAAAALLY BOI SYNDROME came upto me. He proudly related this accident which had happened to him a while back. While on his way...he was confronted by men who inquired if he was shia or sunni...he was obviously taken aback but sharp as he was duly replied that he was a christian and thus was asked to shoo off...A proud christian in the making...

what happens when we renounce our faith...
when we turn our backs on our beliefs...
when our teachings fail to enlighten us...
when a holy book ceases to be important...
which we are supposed to safekeep in remote places of the house...
away from the prying eyes...
what happens when there is a protest without a cause...
when the newspapers are without headlines...
when humans are without love...
when actions are without principles...

blood hath spilled...
innocense lost forever...
an eight year old boy lay dead...
why this mass violence...
there is a mother...
there is a sister...
there are relatives...
mourning...
crying...
for a soul lost forever...
for a son who never brought back his first pay...
for a brother who never saw off his sister on her wedding...
there will be no more...
there are machine guns manned at civilians...
there are buildings going up in flames...
hath they not known...???
these very buildings provide for their livlihood...
that the motorcycles that they burnt are of their own brethren...
that this country is indeed theirs too...
why are we lost?...
why is there no hope...
why is there so much ignorance...
there is an air of acceptibility...
as if this is normal...
no one to turn to...
lawlessness...
while this goes on...
there were couples who had better things to do...
who sneaked...
who sinned...
who were wary of whatever was happening...
and yet their eyes were blinded...
their souls were knotted...
they cursed the unknown for a day wasted...
a day of opportunity...
a day of flattery...
a day for love...
HMMMMMPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
today...
no religion binds us...
no faith reinvigorates us...
there are no mechanisms...
no institutions...
no religious obligations...
there are ulterior motives...
there are leaders who cant lead...
there are followers who cant follow...
there are observers who cant observe...
there are directors who cant direct...
there are coordinators who cant coordinate...
frankly...
i am disappointed...
at this hostile display of violence...
telenor banners going down...
KFC being burnt...
Ronald McDonald being beaten up...
do you know that KFC etc have Pakistani employees...
that they too are amongst us...
do you know that an entreprenuer from America hath not committed any fault...
he prospered...
hate him...
hit him...
kill him...
but...
but...
BUT...
do not work...
do not be positive...
do not reflect within...
do not uphold the values propagated by Islam...
and in the meantime...
The Danish people will smile...
so will the rest of the European and North American community...
just what they had thought hath been proven...
once again...
i sit down...
heave in...breathe out...
breathe in...breathe out...
NUMB...
The funeral procession begins...
Bon voyage lil one...

to love...

humans have weaknesses...
we can't get enough...
we can't live enough...
we can't digest enough...
we can't hurt enough...
we can't love enough...
we can't hog enough...
we can't bitch enough...
we just can't...
seemingly we have learnt to be selfish...
love is for the rich...
love is for those who can shower a bracelet...
who can spare a necklace...
who can gift a diamond...
love has walked out...
from the destitute...
the poor...
the needy...
the special children...
love hath commercialized...
love is in posh restaurants...
love is a commercial entity...
if you love you better have a pocket to go along with it...
love is no longer a feeling...
no longer an emotion...
we pestered love...
we raped love...
we massacred love...
we brutally traumatized love...
we spill blood...
blood is a snippet of our gory imagination...
we have a lust for the red liquid...
today...
love is taken away...
love is denied to little children...
mothers wail...
orphans weep...
fathers and brothers lay dead...
the widow bandwagon is brimming...
the newborn toll is rising...
and yet...
love hath walked away...
the war shall go on...
a war to jeopardize...
a war to plunder
i shall stand there...
a mere spectator...
wishing...
yearning...
yelping...
someday...
HELLLLL SOMEDAY...
a mere speckle shines...
up up up...

One day...

notice the matrix...
look into it...
look deep...
you are a part of it...
like it...
OR LEAVE IT...
today is historic...
tomorrow will be historic...
the landscape will change...
the topology shall differ...
the expression shall differ...
the underlying thoughts will be the same...
ever noticed universal expressions...
be it an african child...
an eskimo...
a Tibetan Monk...
a Nepalese sherpa...
a Red Indian...
A tribesman in Amazon...
pain,hunger,love,hate are all global expressions...
today is a day...
today is a moment...
which shall be long gone by tomorrow...
while we are here...
we must make the experience more liveable...
we ought to be the change that we want to witness in the world...
i sit down and ponder...
ponder over the inner turbulence and chaos...
something does not mesh in...
something does not cog together...
something which disrupts the flow...
something which curbs the matrix...
the perfect circle...
i see it...
its everywhere...
today is pain...
Embarrassingly we live in a world which is increasingly marred by conflict...
where racial divides are prevalent...
where racism and hatred is widespread...
where religions are frowned upon...
where ethnicities are invented to fuel more divides...
we sit...
we witness...
we listen...
we are numb...
while the cog continues to dwindle...
we stand by...
waiting...
today cartoons voice the opinions of the West...
man is under immense duress...
man is under identity crisis...
its scary when you dont know why you are here...
when you dont know your purpose...
ever woken up and felt totally empty...
every felt as if there was no hope...
there was no ambition to fuel you...
no force to motivate you...
today...violence is widespread...
killings are the order of the day...
there are orphans lined up...
there are widows in despair...
there are amputated young men...
there are childless parents...
there is pain...
there is agony...
today is indeed a day...
a day to ponder...
a day to love...
a day to reach out...
i day to learn...
the mistake hath been committed...
the good hath prevailed over the evil...
but the cost...
the sacrifice...
identify bigger causes...
sometimes i feel so empty...
sometimes i feel...
there is blood...
there is mayhem...
but the chivalrous one...
shall lead by example...
my life is a drag...
the more you puff...
the habitual you become...
the more the lust...
the quicker the end...
in the mayhem...
i stand guard and witness...
one day...

to the Higher Existence

amidst the hub hub...
there lies...
the ancient secret...
a secret which hath not been ordained...
its origins arent man made...
it lies all around us...
amidst the mountains...
the serenity...
the tranquil valleys...
the calm lakes...
the gory deserts...
the fertile plains...
the lush, brazen horizons...
they proclaim...
they bow...
whilst we are engaged...
whilst we waste ahoy...
in the green meadows...
amongst the pulchritudinos valleys...
while we strut...
drunken...
wasteful of our oblivion...
there is a truth...
there is a higher existence...
look at the skies...
the stars proclaim it...
the winds sway to it...
the flowers profess it...
while war wreaks havoc...
kills, massacres and annihilates...
while many are orphaned...
others left homeless...
others freezing...
we lie down thinking...
thinking...
about materialistic pursuits...
we dont have to worry about our next meal...
our debit cards are on the forefront of our worries...
what do we know about thirst...
the thirst for knowledge...
the spiritual thrust...
we know not...
cos we hath not...
while i try...
while i engage...
while i am turbulently reminded...
i reminisce...
i want to...
i need to...
ohhhh Lordddddddddddddddddddd...
and the words ceaseth to be...
cease to flow...
and i walk alone...
to the road to oblivion...
to a place...
where there is tranquility...
where there is love...
where there is happiness...
where there is purity...
i discover...
the cycle goes on and on...
the wheel never ceases...

to those times

there will be times...
times when there would be no one to turn to...
times of despair...
time of anguish and pain...
times when nothing will fall in place...
times of havoc...
times...
when you cant close your eyes...
because it pains...
pains to see...
the unseen...
pains to be...
pains to breathe...
there will be times when everyone turns their back...
lose faith on you...
times when you are written off...
times when you are forsaken...
and those are times...
when you discover the unseen...
the unknown...
when the enigma opens up...
there are times in our lives when we feel as if we cant move on...
there is no hope...
there is no motivation...
when your loved ones are nomore...
when the going gets tough...
i have known...
i hath known...
i shall know...
the feeling of disbelief...
the feeling of being let down...
the feeling of being no good...
the feeling of letting those who believed in you down...
times when the despair sinks in...
its ironic how you can be in the clutches of doom and despair...
and suddenly discover yourself...
the deeper they are...
the bigger and mindboggling the test...
the test of our ultimate mettle...
the test of our faith...
everyday is a test...
everyday is a proving ground...
a day when the questions are the answers...
when our foes are our friends...
a shelter becomes our home...
those are times indeed...
times...
good times...
better times...
everyday that gave you a reason to smile...
every hour that gave you the satisfaction to carry on...
every minute that gave you strength...
every moment spent meditating...
those are times well spent...
times accumulating experience...
times spent broadening your horizons...
let your soul be...
just be...
and those times will do you justice...
those times are around the corner...
just hold onto your faith...
and let the flow be...